thoughts of endless oppression continue bleeding rain within the grey brittle roses to pave all the wisdom in which closed gates create brick wall of rigid self control manic nirvana controlled built a brick wall that I can't climb and nobody knows, I try I walk with the wings of broken desire as the wolf stalks me as his prey the cracks in my hand break only larger from bludgeoning memories writhing, screaming and crying I ponder reaching for the break of day rotting in the lonely lust of the shadows that only I could create barbed wire fence of self oppression pulled tight around my brain imagined fear tints the reality that darkens everything I see