[Jamie Kennedy]
1984, lyin in the grass
First time I ever got some ass
Pop rock in my mouth, wanna go down South
But the Whopper in my stomach really gave me gas

[Stu Stone]
Listen you crazy motherfucker, let's skip class
I got a fresh pack of Hubba Bubba Berry Blast
I got money to kill and ants to burn
Drag car to the mall and a salon perm
Michael Jackson's got a glove, Prince is cryin like a dove
And the radio is kickin that song "I Need Love"
I do too

[Jamie Kennedy]
So I hit the pavement with my homeboy Stu

[Stu Stone]
Break out the cardboard, break out the beatbox
Take off your new shoes, pop-lockin in socks

[Jamie Kennedy]
Hey Stu I got the robot, down on lock

[Stu Stone]
I got a Cabbage Patch Kid and he's still in the box

[Chorus]
Where's the beef, where where, where's the beef (BRING THE BEEF BACK BITCH~!)
Where's the beef, where where, where's the beef (WHO'S GOT BEEF?)

[Stu Stone]
Where's the beef?
Motherfucker it's in your teeth
While your girlfriend's underneath
While you're chewin I'm pursuin started screwin that superfreak

[Jamie Kennedy]
She may be superfreaky, but I'm super cool
I got a He-Man thermos that I rock at school
My LaCosta's clean, and I'm fresh and on scene
Got a Rubik's Cube can't figure out mean

[Stu Stone]
I got a Rubik's Cube too but mines all black
I just peel off all the stickers and don't put 'em back
Nancy got me feelin antsy, say no to drugs
Mr. Drummond's givin Arnold & Willis more hugs

[Chorus]
Where's the beef, where where, where's the beef
Where's the beef, where where, where's the beef

[Outro]
To the left (left left)
To the right (right right)
To the left (left left)
To the right (right right)
Now everybody~!
Are you ready to dance
DJ break it down like this

{*scratching then beat to fade*}