Never thought that I could feel such a slap in the face
Since my semester in New York where I drank it away
Social strategies are taught to bohemian crowds
And my love was like a food stamp handing it out
Though I fell in love with you, all fey and grizzled and mature
You left me naked, pining, whining on you bathroom floor
If it makes you jealous tell us just which boy we should adore
And we talk about myself so I don't mind that he's a bore

He's like a less cute version of you
But he'll have to do
He's like a Wal-Mart version of you
But he'll have to do
He'll have to do

Mountain man, brag about your band to me
You got me hot with all those snide remarks about my poetry
But he gobbles up every single line about stars
And how they scar my slightly chubby arms like brightly light cigars

So now, he's next to me
And I can feel you in my heart
You're everything
You're everything he'll never be
It's misery, and more specifically
I miss that day you spit on me

He's like a less cute version of you
But he'll have to do
He's like a Wal-Mart version of you
But he'll have to do
He'll have to do
He's like a less cute version of you
But he'll have to do
He's like a Wal-Mart version of you
But he'll have to do
He'll have to do

He has no inkling of your status or mind
He's just the glow that I splatter to bind
You and I like Siamese twins
So let the sick sad game begin

Now, you're here again
And he will wonder where I've been
I'm giving in
But in my own opinion
That's how to be
Though I can hear him singing all this and he's killing me

He's like a less cute version of you
But he'll have to do
He's like a Wal-Mart version of you
But he'll have to do
He'll have to do
He's like a less cute version of you
But he'll have to do
He's like a Wal-Mart version of you
But he'll have to do
He'll have to do