Brian!
Skate!
Brian!
Skate!
Brian!
Skate!
Brian!
Skate!
What would Brian Boitano do
If he was here right now?
He'd make a plan and he'd follow through.
That's what Brian Boitano'd do!

Brian!
Skate!
Brian!
Fight!

When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics
Skating for the gold,
He did two Salchows and a triple Lutz
While wearing a blindfold!

When Brian Boitano was in the Alps
Fighting grizzly bears,
He used his magical fire-breath
And saved the maidens fair!

Brian!
Skate!
Brian!
Skate!

So what would Brian Boitano do
If he were here today?
I'm sure he'd kick an arse or two.
That's what Brian Boitano'd do!

Brian!
Skate!
Bro!
Dude!

When Brian Boitano traveled in time
To the year three thousand ten,
He fought the evil Robot King
And saved us all again!

And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids
He beat up Kublai Khan!
'Cause Brian Boitano doesn't take shit
[slowing] from anybody…

No! Brian, those chicken wings are really spicy! Don't eat those!

I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!

Brian!
Skate!
Brian!
Fight!

Brian Boitano was born
On the planet of Kryluck.
He came to earth to save us all
From war and death and such.

Hi-delodee hideelay,
Brian Boitano's here!
So round up all your lasses
And tell them to have no fear!

Say, come over here, my honey,
And you're gonna take off my pants!
And I'm gonna make dirty love to you,
'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!

'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!